It Just Doesn't Matter! But, of Course it Does! Life Lessons From Meatballs
It Just Doesn’t Matter… But of course, it does!
“It just doesn’t matter! It just doesn’t matter!” So went the cheer that Bill Murray led to fire up his campers in the over-the-top camp movie, Meatballs. The ragtag group of campers from (the fictional) Camp North Star battled their arch enemies from the plush Camp Mohawk in an annual competition. These games mattered a lot to Mohawk. (Their cheer was “Death, injury, blood and pain, Mohawk, Mohawk win again!”) They were all but assured to defeat their less well-trained and funded competitors from North Star.
Naming Your Dreams Makes You Vulnerable
I won’t spoil the ending, but it turns out it did matter to the campers of North Star. It mattered all along, but Murray’s character (Tripper) figured out that the fear of defeat was paralyzing his group of kids. In order for them to win, he needed to get them to care just a little bit less, or at least pretend to care a little bit less. It’s hard for kids to vocalize their dreams! So often they need an advocate, a coach, a mentor - someone who can help them reach their dreams, even if they don’t or can’t vocalize it.
What Does Matter to Kids These Days?
What matters to kids these days is a topic for a book- or a whole shelf of them. Many have already been written. But in her book, Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose, journalist and author Jennifer Brehenny Wallace makes the case that what matters to kids is, more than anything, mattering!
Mattering, according to Wallace, is the story we tell ourselves about our place in the world. She goes on to observe:
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All humans need to feel they matter, not just children.
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Having a non-parental secure connection is a key part of adolescent development.
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If someone feels “unseen” or undervalued, they often lash out in a demand for attention.
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In the digital age, online comparisons can lead kids to feel they don’t matter.
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The simplest gestures and affirmations can have outsized impact.
What Does This Have to Do With Camp?
Kids so often tell us they find their best selves at Camp - a cheerful but vague enough admission that has led me to wonder just what the hell they actually mean when they say this. Armed with this new definition, I think it means that the little voice in their head that plays at Camp tells kids they have a place in the world, and one that aligns with their hopes and dreams - even if they don’t have the words to name those hopes and dreams just yet.
Rudy, the young camper who Bill Murray takes under his wing, finds his value at the end of the movie. We’re probably not as funny, zany or (thankfully) as slovenly as Murray’s character, but our staff is pretty darn good at letting kids know that they matter. And, in the beautiful ritual that completes the circle, they too so often find their best selves.
Run on “Rudy the Rabbit”, run on. You might just have to watch the movie.